Solstice

The flame from my lighter is a hot wind in my face,
I take a long drag and let it go,
It is cold here, but not as cold as Korea in '97,
But cold biting through my thin night clothes.

I stare up past the skeletal limbs of the trees ,
Into a darkness filled with stars,
Stars you don't see in town,
They are reserved for the places that are dark themselves.

I wonder to myself,
What am I doing here really,
Just getting along, surviving day by day,
While out there the true me awaits rediscovery.

With Every drag on my cigarette,
I ponder whether to put it out,
And retreat back to the warmth of my quarters,
But I stay because to feel the cold outside  is better than feeling nothing at all inside.

I have stopped trying to see the future,
And though I am always 3 moves ahead,
This Chess Game is already Checkmated,
Against me, I can feel it.

What brings us to these moments,
Love lost, greif, the ticking of a clock that isn't really there,
I stand and find myself as empty as I have been for years,
On a cold solstice night all alone.

Quincy R Tatum
December 22, 2011